Life After Matt

My household has been in shambles lately.

It started with the oatmeal incidents. My cupboard I've been keeping oatmeal in has shelves too short for the canister to stand upright, so I've kept it lying on it's side. Well that cupboard happens to be above the stove, so while I was cooking rice one night, I reached up to get something out of that cupboard, and as soon as I opened the door the oatmeal came spilling out all over the stove, into my rice pot, and onto the floor. I had rice-oats for dinner that night.

But due to a couple glasses breaking while washing dishes on account of my not having a dish rack because it takes up counter space, I had broken the vacuum and was unable to clean up the oatmeal right away. It might seem like a nonsequitor, but after (I thought) picking up all the large glass chunks I had vacuumed to double check, and a large piece of glass had migrated into the living room and I hadn't noticed it and it broke my vacuum. So right. The oatmeal wasn't going anywhere fast.

The next day I decided to pot my plants in the living room on top of some brown paper bags I'd spread out on the floor. That didn't work, and so dirt, literally DIRT, was all over my living room floor.

The next day I was making mac&cheese quick before I left for work, and the SAME EXACT THING happened with the oatmeal, which I had not thought to move to a safer location. So I ate some mac&cheese-oats quick and left.

So then I'm coming home to an apartment, and there is literally dirt and oatmeal tracked/blown all over my entire apartment. Eventually I borrowed Phil's vacuum and took care of that, but it was quite the blow.

Now this week I've been having trouble with my toilet not flushing right. Two plungers (yeah, I borrowed Phil's. Surprise, surprise.) and three days later I'm still a little iffy about it, though it's getting the job done. Eventually.

Oh, and the last... I don't know, say, 6 times?... I've made cookies, I've burnt the hell outta them. Also, I've been microwaving tortillas and bagels. Which apparently is a domestic sin.

Sigh. Someday I WILL have a respectable home life. Mark my words.

Maggie Musings

The other day while dozing off on the couch, my dazed, pre-sleep brain was contemplating how to wrap my birthday presents for Phil.

At first, I was thinking to wrap them all separately... but then I had vague apprehensions along the lines of it maybe coming across as too much cuz I know he's not that into the whole birthday thing. But then, all sleepy and what-not I thought, "But if I put them all in the same box, and he shakes it, then something might break." But then another me countered, "You dork, nothing in that package is breakable!" Chimes another me, "But if I put an egg in it, THAT'D sure teach him to shake his birthday presents. Hehe... sucker."

Then I forgot all about Phil and his upcoming birthday, and got lost in wishes of having a friend who compulsively shook all of his/her presents. As a practical joke I would wrap a box with dozens of loose raw eggs in it, JUST so that when they shook it I could jump in and say, "AHA!! That'll teach YOU to try an' count your chickens before they're hatched!" And then I peacefully dozed off with a smile upon my lips.

A two-fold point.

The other day Flatlander mentioned a post I wrote over a year ago. Looking at it again and thinking of that time in my life really brought a lot of memories back. I miss this blog. Back when I was living in my parents basement, going to school, and working at the nursing home, when I wanted to post on the blog I would go outside, smoke a cigarette, reflect on my day, and identify 1-3 things I'd been thinking about or of note that happened that day. Then I'd retreat back to my cave in the basement, sit down in front of the computer and write about them. Easy-breezy.

I miss that luxury.

Looking after my own home and overscheduling to the point of insanity has left me shell-shocked and brainless. Well not brainless, but it's hard to make my brain delight about something random or reflect on something past for more than 5 minutes any more before I start reviewing what I need to do in the future. And that's a crying shame.

After of summer of recuperation and just recently getting to a point where I'm comfortable with my routine of JUST holding a FT job at the hospital and looking after daily cooking/cleaning necessities, I have to admit that I have fleeting regrets that I haven't made recreational writing more of a habit again while I had the time to. And now school is starting again. Granted, at a much lesser rate as I'm only taking one 7-credit clinical, but it's still a good 12 hours of face time between lectures and clinicals at the hospital, plus all the papers, projects, readings, and prep that goes with it. Plus 40 hours of work a week. Planning out my schedule I was somewhat horrified that THIS was cutting back. What was I thinking last semester.

At any rate. The point I wanted to make is two-fold: one, I want to blog more because it's good for me. It makes me reflect. It decreases worrying and anxiety because the focus is on the past and present, not the future (except this post). And that's good. That's healthy. And two, .... Okay, there isn't really a two. Twofold points sound more impressive, though... so... right. I'll try again: And two, please feel free to harass me if I'm not posting enough. Man... writing socially in a coherent manner is harder than I remember...

Thank you for your time. I look forward to hearing from you.

New Apartment!

Yeah, so we're moving again. A mere 3 or 4 months later, you inquire? What the? Yeah. I know. I feel the same way-- talk about a whole lot of work. But I think we need to be someplace where the noises of the night don't routinely involve excessive sirens and gunshots. It's worth it.

My tone lacks fervor, I realize... we ARE really excited about the new place, it's just that all the work, finances and details involved in yet another huge life transition are still a bit daunting. This new place in addition to having heat included, onsite laundry, fun local places to go that you feel comfortable walking to, a fantastic view, and a deck on the roof besides for more viewing pleasure (all of which this current place lacks), it will also save us some time (it's alot closer to work/school for both of us), and likely money too. Oh, and we've never observed any thugs over there.

It's located downtown on the east side, two blocks from Lake Michigan near the Marina. We're on the 7th floor, and there were fantastic breezes up there when you open the window, plus it's way brighter because the brick of the neighbor's house a mere 5 ft away doesn't block the light like with our current residence. Nice. Also, it's less than a mile from Columbia St. Mary's Hospital, where I'm in the application process for several positions including in the Med/Surg, Labor and Delivery, and Burn units. At least one of those positions also would enable me to work the same amount of hours (with higher pay), but in 3 nights a week instead of 4... which would be the difference between night and day next school year. I'd be NOT working more nights than I would be. HELLOOoooo SLEEP!

So basically my present future is bursting with opportunity, potential, and brightness... it's just up to me to get the rallying energy together to go for it. I'm quietly optimistic at present with brief flashes of doubt, worry, and indecision. But I suspect in the near future I'm likely to get pretty damn fired up and excited about everything as things start happening... and I can't wait.

FRUSTRATION

So here I am. Lying in my insanely comfy bed. I'm insanely tired. Only slept 5 hrs when I last slept. Already have had a long day what with lectures and labs and homework and what have you. I'm freaking tired. I'm going to be up ALL NIGHT LONG at work, then I'm going straight to school, ON A SATURDAY, to take a stupid CPR refreshment course. Plus Matt gets home tomorrow and so I'm not going to get much sleep before I go straight BACK to work TOMORROW night.

But I can't sleep.

Why can't I sleep? Because there's so much more that COULD BE DONE. I could be updating my resume. I could be applying to even more positions at even more hospitals in order to cash in on the whole tuition reimbursement programs the offer (which, incidentally, would account for 3/4 of my personal payments), not to mention the higher wages. I could be cleaning up in my kitchen. I could be smogging my car and heading over to the DMV-- like I've been planning on doing the last 3 consecutive days. I could be doing laundry over at my parents and completing my move over here. I could be writing any number of papers. Preparing for any number of classes. I could be straightening up my planner and clarifying all my upcoming obligations so I don't miss anything. I could be taking care of all of next months bills. I could be planning out my budget for next month. I could be solving any number of minor crises in my life before they become major ones. I could even be putting on some freaking chapstick so my lips don't chap. All these stupid little (and not so little) things come back to haunt me the second my head hits the pillow.

ALL I WANT IS TO FREAKING SLEEP.

But I can't. So I'm gonna get up, shower, run over to the smog place/DMV, head over to my mom's, update my resume while I'm doing laundry, and start chipping away at some of this crap. Why? Why would I do this when I still have a good 5.5 hrs I could actually be sleeping before work? Because it's impossible to sleep the sleep of the just when you haven't crossed out 2/3 of your to-do list. That's why.

Man, I'm pissed...

Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub...

And I want to be the baker. When I get off work and have 20 minutes to chill before I hop in the shower and get ready to go to class I like to unwind by reading the forwards to bread baking books. There are some really cool, mystical ones out there that totally fascinate me. Or more appropriately, YEAST fascinates me...

Anyways, once Matt and I eventually get an apartment this summer I'm hoping to become professional bread bakers. My mom sent me a cool link you guys may or may not be interested in: BreadTopia. If you're also interested in bread baking you should check it out. And if you're not interested, you're crazy: I mean, c'mon, it's nutritious, delicious, and oh-so-fun. Check it out.

Also, I think I want to sign up for some sort of Community Supported Agriculture subscription. Hell, yes.

Stem cells in Space

So about my Anatomy & Physiology professor? I don't mean to gush, but my gosh is she awesome. She has these fantastic stories related to whatever we're studying about. When we were talking about retraining cells to serve different functions, she told us about a NASA grant for stem cell research (yeah. NASA. And they were not using stem cells from unborn children.) she had worked on. Keep in mind as you read on that this is my layman's memory of a lot more complicated situation that she explained to us. A lot of it was over my head. So this is the gleanings.

As you know, stem cells are unspecialized cells that are able to renew themselves indefinitely and can also differentiate into specialized cell types with specific functions, such as a nerve cell or liver cell. Eventually, stem cells may be used to replace damaged or dysfunctional cells in the body with healthy new ones. But right, that's assuming we can figure out what determines or cues the cells to develop these specific functions and train them to do it ourselves.

For some reason that's over my level of comprehension at this point, their experiments were based on the hypothesis that they would be able to make more progress in this area and learn more about it if they were able to grow these cells without the impediment of gravity. And that's where NASA stepped in and allowed them to send their experiments up on their shuttles in this constantly rotating device on a regular basis. From what I understand, they're still conducting these experiments. From what she said it was really neat... but the resulting tissue was something they had never seen before and they had NO IDEA what the heck it was.

But right, the whole thing is pretty fascinating. Why did she trade that job for this one?! Apparently other jobs she's worked are as a scientist in a hospital setting-- she helped train back muscle so that it would contract with heart muscles every second of every day even though that's obviously not a normal function of back muscle. And right, they then wrap that muscle around the heart to strengthen it. Pretty freaking crazy.

I love being in class with this woman. Every little boring thing we learn becomes fascinating as she ties it in with clinical application and/or stories along those lines. She makes things you'd normally have to memorize make sense. I love listening to her... I wish I could be like her...

Bounty Hunting

So I was just watching the news and heard a little ad about the $25 million bounty the U.S. is offering for Osama Bin Laden- dead or alive.

I wonder which would be easier for someone like me: assassinating bin Laden or winning the lottery.

I have a plan, though.

First, I'm going to obtain a kick-ass firearm. A really mean fighting-machine firearm... but one without too much kick back. Cuz that freaks me out.

Second, I'm going to learn how to use it. I'll also probably read up on "Gun Facts," as cited in the links on the right-hand column. It's good to be informed on these issues, after all, especially as the owner of a firearm.

Third, I'm going to learn how to say "Hey there. You boys seen Osama lately?" and "Where is the bathroom?" in arabic. You know, essentials.

Fourth, I'm getting me a plane ticket to Iran or somewhere like that. Or maybe a ticket for "Destination: Ultra Secret Hiding Place Probably in the Middle East."

Fifth, I'm gonna find that bad man.

Sixth? Deactivation:

I have slept 6 hours...

Out of the last 48.

So, anyone up for dinner and a movie this afternoon or evening, perchance? Maybe a little iceskating? A teaparty with my new totally kick*** teaset?

I wonder how my 9 siblings (including spouses) feel...

...about the fact that they all voted me as the most likely of us all to become famous on ShabbyChic's blog. It's not like people who don't know any better are responsible for my tripling anyone else's votes and having the 60% majority... only family members even have access to ShabbyChic's blog. I had my money on Chris, personally.

So... yeah. I can't help but wonder what exactly you guys think I'm supposed to become famous for? I have a few thoughts:

1. Constructer of the world's largest snowman.
2. Professional ice sculptor. (I'm also handy with chainsaws. Chopped down a whole grove of orange sapplings with one once. No joke.)
3. Inventor of the "Fresh!" pee-evaporator.
4. Kick-ass gardener with kick-ass trophy-worthy fruits and vegetables at the state fair... like award-winning eggplants and stuff. State Fair trophies aren't grounds for being famous, though. Maybe I should shoot higher.
5. Holding the world record for being perfectly healthy and sleeping the longest without waking up. I'm currently at 16 sweet love uninterrupted hours.

I dunno, guys. I don't want to let you down, but... At any rate, dissappointment or not, I guess it's better to be me than a boring old ordinary sibling of mine... :o)

Delusions of Grandeur

Me: So do people really actually write famous people and inventors and stuff?
My mom: Yeah, they get tons of mail. Mainly from delusional people who've convinced themselves that they have something brilliant to say that that the famous person will love. They somehow talk themselves into believing that their letter is the one the person will happen to read. Why do you ask?
Me: Oh... nothing...

I mean, come on, people! Is it really that delusional to fantasize about someone brilliant thinking you're brilliant and responding to your letter? Sigh.

This book that Phil and I read together, "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" by Jonathan Safran Foer, planted this seed in my head... I think I'm going to begin a list of famously brilliant people to write this summer and see what happens.

My other Dreamboat

Maybe I could shoot for a Double-Whammy...




(PS to Noah: Why do I not have any pictures of your face looking at the camera on my computer?? I tried every single one I had, but none of them would work for my jibjab creations... see coming posts... At any rate, could you fix that for me?)

One of My Dreamboats

So lately I've been daydreaming about living on a houseboat. At least part of the year. I mean seriously... how fantastic would that be! Sunrises and sunsets out on the water! Fishing off the deck (okay, so I don't exactly know much about fishing, but I'm a quick learner)! The soothing rhythms of the water! Nature sounds without a CD! What's that you say? Your neighbor's dog wakes you up every morning at 5am with it's incessant barking? No problem! You're MOBILE without the stigma of being trailer trash! And there's so many varying degrees of it... it doesn't have to be a permanent situation, it could be something more dreamy (in my opinion), like this baby:

I mean seriously. How cool would that be? I'm feelin' the romance of it all already... happy sigh. What a dreamboat.

Update on the World Hunger Front (WHF)

A few more weeks of this and you guys'll need to have a dictionary to read my posts so you can look up every other word cuz my vocabularly's so extensive.

There are so many less hungry people every day thanks to me.

I'm going to erradicate World Hunger!

... without spending a dime.

This site is brilliant:
Increase literacy --> Decrease Hunger

(Also, please note the new "free rice" banner on the sidebar for future convenience, compliments of phil's younger, more html-aware than me sister.)

Peer Pressure

Yeah! Woo-hoo! Alright!!

So after a few weeks or morbid depression and spontaneous bouts of crying, I appear to have snapped out of it for a bit. Rayna called a bit ago with a proposition. Apparently she's organizing a competition for a bunch of mutual friends (including one, possibly two of my ex-boyfriends, oddly enough) where we're each betting $20 that we can lose more weight than any of the other of the participants over the course of a month. Weigh-in is November 10th; contest ends December 10th. Nothing like a little peer pressure to get you riled up, right?

I feel so much more cheerful now! God, I love some friendly competition...

I've been thinking about Breach again...

...Because of KP's latest post on how lame she is. And that list of "5 things about me" got me to thinking about how in the movie "Breach," Robert Hanssen had his assistant list 5 things about himself, 4 true and one a lie on his first day to test his mad lie-detector skillz. I've decided that the next time I meet someone new and I'm just making pleasant small talk, I'm gonna bust that out. So I can practice my lie detector skills.



I'm so excited... I think I'm gonna go for a walk down to the gas station/bus stop and see if I can meet anybody to practice on...

instilling values in the youth of today

I've taken to teaching my 12 year old sister little life lessons in my free time in the form of rhymes. I think she can benefit greatly from these quaint maxims. For example:

"Whiny little girls aren't very nice; whiny little girls, I punish them thrice."

"Tattletales aren't very fun; tattletales: watch out for my gun."

"'Obey me now' is not a playful quip: obey me now or I'll bust out my whip."

I believe the value of Discipline and a firm hand cannot be overestimated in this day and age. Lemme know if you have any other suggestions...

Spider hunting

Okay, so I'm not one of those people (girls?) who sees a spider and starts FREAKING out. I'm not. But I'm definitely not above a shiver and a start if I'm alone when I encounter one in my living space. And since I'm living in the basement, well, there are spiders.

This is not that big of a deal to me... mainly because you rarely see them when the lights are on, they come out when it's dark. But the other night I got bit by one of the @#$%s. And that made me really really mad. So I've been spider hunting in my free time. I find those vaccum hoses are good for sucking out all the nooks and crannies and between all the books (my room is a library with 3 full walls of bookcases, ceiling to floor). So far my known death count is up to 6. I also discovered that taking out the ceiling tiles and vaccuming above is where most of their homes are. God only knows how many spider homes I've destroyed without a trace.

Did they actually think they could feast upon my flesh while I'm sleeping without retaliation? Aww, HELL no. It's ON.

Find a penny, pick it up...

... and someday you'll have saved enough pennies to buy an ipod!! That's my plan. Several of my family members have ipods and I seriously covet them. But I really cannot afford to be spending money on anything so frivolous and non-essential. So I've consolidated my piggy banks, and collected all the loose change around the apartment when we were moving (you'd be surprised how much change you can find around your house, people), and my piggy bank now weighs over 20 lbs (yes, I weighed my piggy bank. Don't you?), and there's at least $80 I'm guestimating from how much of it was quarters. Not bad. Not bad at all.

I'm hoping that by next year I'll have saved enough change to reach my goal. And then I too will be among the ipod elite.