The Patch Part II

Yeah. So after a few days on the patch my status was this:

1. Chronic bad headaches were turned into excruciatingly painful dehabilitating headaches.
2. Random 1-3 minute "episodes" where my whole arm that I had the patch on would go numb in a stingy, panicky way.
3. Quickened and irregular pulse.
4. Psychotic dreams that I was wholly unable to distinguish from reality the next day... it took me a full 8 hours to realize I'd been doing something over and over again based on a dream, not reality.
5. VIOLENT mood swings including excessive profanity, uncontrollable emotions and numerous disgruntled and affronted family member victims.
6. Lightheadedness when exercising, even in controlled climates.
7. I STILL desperately wanted to smoke.

So, I said "**** You, Patch." One or two side effects you can get through... but geez. I don't need that. Especially if I still want my stupid cigarettes... why have 7 side effects when you could have just one? So yeah, the patch didn't last.... BUT...

Yes, BUT... I'm still not smoking. Wassup now, Nickles?

The Patch.

And one last thing... I started the patch today. Despite what I've been told about it... it doesn't seem to be working? Because despite my general happiness and good mood I keep having this flashes of razor-sharp crabbiness and nic-fits. I really want a freaking cigarette. I'm gonna start voice lessons (as positive incentive!) this weekend, so we'll see how that works out. But really, if you guys could pray for me on this that'd be sweet and much appreciated...

I've kinda got something to prove this time around (mainly to myself, but other people are making the list) and don't know how I'd be able to take the failure.

I almost feel like a responsible adult. Weird.

Also of note, I've been making the shift to a diurnal schedule in which I wake up at 6 to go to the gym and daily Mass before the rest of life starts. And then I go to bed in the evening as opposed to the early morning. Crazy! I'm Awesome!

Uhhh... but I didn't volunteer...?

Woo hoo! So I started two schools today!

This morning I had Psychology and Sociology back to back. Both look like they're going to be incredibly interesting and a whole lot of fun... though a LOT of work and highly controversial. I'm excited.

Then this afternoon I had my CNA (certified nursing assistant) course for 4 hours (mon-fri *groan*). Everyone seems really helpful and I even have one new friend, Faith, bringing me information on where I can get a free TB test. Hooray!! The only weird thing was I spent 2 of those 4 hours having 50 different hands belonging to 25 complete strangers all over my limbs, stomach, feet, etc. She asked for volunteers and this girl practically FORCED me down on the bed as one of them. Eesh. That was a little weird, lying there being manipulated around and stuff, but whatever. In the end it was pretty fun once I resigned myself to having no personal privacy and decided not to care about the stubble on my legs. I will never go to that class again without smooth legs and a pedicure, lemme tell ya. Lesson learned.

Anyways, I've already spent 2 hours on homework and I've only got half of it done. Riiight. It's really interesting, though!!

Ahhh... School Stress. My Long Lost Friend.

So, yeah. Tomorrow's orientation for school... except I won't be there. I'll be in some back room taking the NET (Nursing Entrance Test). It was a last minute thing... because I signed up for the September testing and somehow got on the list for the August one that they told me was full, but then called to tell me I was in the day before. Nice, guys.

I spent a total of 4 hours this afternoon looking for the study guide book I'd purchased a month ago to study for this test... but put somewhere "safe" for when I actually had to test for it in September. I hate safe places. They always seem to somehow cease to exist when you need to rediscover them most.

At any rate, after bribing my younger sister to find it for me (there goes $10), it was retrieved in the early evening hours. Nothing like a pair of young eyes. So right, I've been reading through it... it's all pretty much basic skills.. but I really want to ace this, so I'm stressed out all the same. It seems like a pretty easy test to me! But my mind is just... well... out of practice, so I'm a little apprehensive. I'm not sure what to expect. It's much similar to the ACT from what I can tell. I dunno. Anyways. I guess I'll find out tomorrow morning how my testing skills have survived over the years... I'm sure it'll be fine.

Observations on Married Couples

So... I've been looking at married couples lately... and they seem kinda shackled by their love. I mean, don't get me wrong... I have nothing against marriage. It just seems to suck a whole lot sometimes.

What's up with that, married readers?

Betrayal

Dontcha just hate finding things out about people you know and who are close to you, who you already don't like much, that just make you plain want to hate them?

Please, if you have such information, just don't tell me. I'm better off not knowing.

Supplementing the Bible RE: FUNK

Apparently God created a lot of things on the 8th day, also including, but not limited to:

FUNK.

I can't sleep...

So I thought I'd share my late thoughts. I'm generous like that.

I think it's kinda profound that a butterfly's wings are thinner than paper... yet it can fly. Maybe it's not really flying... but just too light to resist the wind. I must test this hypothesis.

I think that it is very wise to not eat yellow snow.

If my brothers brains were bananas, he wouldn't even be able to get a monkey interested in him.

God Hates Stupid. 'Nuff said.

I read somewhere that "some peoples minds are like concrete...thoroughly mixed up and permanently set." I've met that guy. I'm gonna buy him a jackhammer.

I also read something along the lines of "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then, when you do, you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes." That made me giggle.

Pertinent to my current situation, I've taken the liberty of supplementing the Bible. "And on the 8th day, God created the internet... and on the 13th day from 2:04am to 2:07am, it worked."

HELP: My music's getting stale!!

So I've totally been yearning for some highly stimulating, sensual latin-flavored music that makes you want to dance...

Anybody got any suggestions?

I'd also be interested in hearing what sorts of music people like to listen to when they work out, high energy music if you guys've got any input...

But especially Latin stuff.

Just a Heads-up

I was just remembering how the last time I talked to Phil he said something along the lines of, "Hey, you've been blogging again! Maybe I should post.."

So yeah, since so many of my now **5** readers (WooHoo!!) seem to have had problems identifying who's posting in the past, I'm going to take this opportunity to point out that at the bottom of every post it states the author. For example, at the bottom of this post it says "Mags." That's me.. I'm the author. So in the event that he does post and reclaim his blog that I as a team member have pretty much taken over, nobody be confused. He has a serious disdain for stupidity and blogreader negligence.

I am also writing this to super-subtly encourage Phil to blog from Iraq. Not pressure him to. But encourage.. I've still left him the out of pretending he never read this. Aren't I clever?

ipod thieving

So my 18 yo kid sister who's been homeschooled all through highschool got her first job this summer... and less than a week before she leaves for college she got her ipod, her prized possession, and her debit card (I guess those are handy, too) stolen from the crew room at work by a coworker.

Now this sucks royally... I mean, it's an ipod. As I'm currently saving my pennies, literally, to get an ipod myself, I definitely feel her pain. Life without one seems so... unmusical. Everyone else gets to go dancing down the street in black-and-white with their earbuds in, and here I am in technicolor trudging down the sidewalk with nothing to soothe my ears but the noise of birds chirping and cars driving past. That poor, poor kid... to have everything, and then suddenly have nothing.

But on a more serious note, it really does stink because this is her first "real life" (I HATE those terms, but so be it) experience with people... and she didn't really LIKE people in general to begin with. Now she really doesn't like them and doesn't trust them either. Maybe she shouldn't, but still... there's a happy balance. These are the people she's spent her whole summer in close quarters with getting to know, and being friends with and now they're just common thieves. The whole thing's pretty depressing.

I did a little research though and apparently this is a huge issue. Ipod theft in LA has increased 34% in LA, and over doubled in San Francisco in the last year. I guess Apple's applied for some theft-deterrant patent so they can track your ipod if it's reported stolen. But with over 110 million ipods in circulation, I doubt such a service will be coming any time soon given the sheer volume of claims they'd have to deal with, yet hopefully someday our ipods and tender youthful optimism will be safeguarded. For now we'll just have to stick to hating people and not trusting them. Please, Apple. Hurry.

I wonder what real colleges are like...

So I registered for classes this week... a full course load at Cardinal Stritch plus for the first month I'm going to be taking a CNA course, four hours a day, Mon-Fri. Crazy. I'm two full time students in one. But my gosh, going in there to chat with my advisor and wandering around campus and checking out the bookstore and stuff... I dunno. I mean, I'm a college graduate and all, but I still feel like I have no idea what it's like to be a REAL student. TAC is so... unconventional.

What if the other kids don't LIKE me??

Ha ha! No, really, though. I'm just having trouble putting together a mental picture of what the next couple years of my life will be like. Or the next month for that matter.... classes from 10am to 7pm every day plus homework??? Eesh. Guess I'll find out soon enough.

Nutrition

So I have been doing some serious research and studying about nutrition and effectively manipulating my moods with what I choose to fuel my body with! Awesome! Totally freaking awesome! I should be PMSing right now and I'm NOT! Ta-Da!

You should still exercise caution, though... I'm new to this and could still snap back into crazy irrational PMS Maggie at any given time...

Spider hunting

Okay, so I'm not one of those people (girls?) who sees a spider and starts FREAKING out. I'm not. But I'm definitely not above a shiver and a start if I'm alone when I encounter one in my living space. And since I'm living in the basement, well, there are spiders.

This is not that big of a deal to me... mainly because you rarely see them when the lights are on, they come out when it's dark. But the other night I got bit by one of the @#$%s. And that made me really really mad. So I've been spider hunting in my free time. I find those vaccum hoses are good for sucking out all the nooks and crannies and between all the books (my room is a library with 3 full walls of bookcases, ceiling to floor). So far my known death count is up to 6. I also discovered that taking out the ceiling tiles and vaccuming above is where most of their homes are. God only knows how many spider homes I've destroyed without a trace.

Did they actually think they could feast upon my flesh while I'm sleeping without retaliation? Aww, HELL no. It's ON.

Find a penny, pick it up...

... and someday you'll have saved enough pennies to buy an ipod!! That's my plan. Several of my family members have ipods and I seriously covet them. But I really cannot afford to be spending money on anything so frivolous and non-essential. So I've consolidated my piggy banks, and collected all the loose change around the apartment when we were moving (you'd be surprised how much change you can find around your house, people), and my piggy bank now weighs over 20 lbs (yes, I weighed my piggy bank. Don't you?), and there's at least $80 I'm guestimating from how much of it was quarters. Not bad. Not bad at all.

I'm hoping that by next year I'll have saved enough change to reach my goal. And then I too will be among the ipod elite.

I heart H&R Block

So I need to apply with FAFSA cuz I need financial aid to go back to school, so that meant I had to do taxes. Which I haven't done in two years. So last Friday I went to H&R Block to see if they could help me out. I was really dragging my feet as I trudged through their doors cuz I was expecting to have to pay a lot of money, and that they wouldn't even be able to help me. This is the state in which I arrived:

1. I hadn't filed for 2005.
2. I didn't have 2005's W2s.
3. I had an extension, but hadn't filed for 2006.
4. I was missing one of my W2s for 2006, cuz Ave X never sent it to me.
5. I've been claiming more exemptions (?) than I'm due so they take out less taxes- so I was expecting to have to pay a lot back.

But Tolanda at H&R Block TOTALLY hooked me up with her tax knowledge and stuff and in the end, I didn't even NEED to file for 2005, so that was all square, and I ended up getting twice what they took out back for 2006, cuz she knew about some programs I qualified for and stuff. Pretty crazy cool if you ask me... I doubled my returns on the taxes the government had me pay this year! Taxes are like a mandatory fast-growing investment account when you file through H&R Block!

Homeless in Wisconsin... again.

Okay, so not HOMELESS per se. I'm moved back in with my parents temporarily, as our lease is up and Matt's moving to Utah. I think I'm sad about it because I REALLY loved our place... but it'll be good for Matt and I to have some space, that much less bills to pay, and more than anything I'm just relieved. Moving really sucks!!

Thank goodness I'm done with all that... for now.

Breach

Pretty interesting movie. Or at least I thought so. Tomorrow after Mass and before the gym I think I'm gonna go to the library and get some books on Robert Hanssen and write him a letter in prison.

How does someone go from daily Mass and being a "practicing" Catholic to being the most destructive spy known to any country in the history of mankind? Pretty freaking crazy. I guess it goes to show you how going through the motions just isn't enough. But still. I wonder what the priest said to him when he confessed. That I'll never know, but I do wonder how he justified what he was doing in his mind? The movie said 1) it was a pride issue- and enjoyable at that... being the head of a committee trying to find the mole, when you ARE the mole, and 2) he somehow thought he was teaching the US that it's security measures were no good, and the way to do this was to undermine them himself. Crazy. But still, there must be more to it than that.

So that's why I'm reading up on him. And I really want to write him, because my heart goes out to him... granted, what he did was inexcusable and reflects badly on the Faith, but to be serving a life sentence, 23 hours a day in solitary confinement? I dunno. I guess if you spent most your time prayer you could pretend you were a cloistered monk or something... Although, I doubt that's the case. Anyways. I'll post when I actually know what it is I want to say to Robert Hanssen. That'll be more interesting...