"In the Border"

So Phil 'n' I will be going to Canada this weekend to follow the Admirals around for a few games. Just a fun lil 2010 roadtrip to ring in the new year. Which is awesome. We're hoping to meet up with DitchDoc as well, God willing!!

So naturally I gave T-mobile a ring this afternoon to find out how much I'm charged per minute for Canadian calls because I really don't know other than that it's something. What a joke that was. I called, explained that I would be driving to Canada, and politely asked my customer service rep how much I'm charged, per minute, for calls made to Canada and calls made to the US from Canada. His response? "Oh, you're driving there? Well you're just charged for normal minutes, cuz you're in the border." That... did not make sense to me. "In" the border? What the? So I acknowledge that I do not know what that means and asked for clarification. So he responds "Well you know, if you're calling either the US or Canada from in the border there is no additional fee." Still got nothing. I'm confused... is this coming up because I live IN a state that borders Canada? Don't see how that should matter... so right. I ask again. "No, no. That doesn't matter. You just don't pay any additional fee so long as you're in the border." He's not cute anymore: "Where IS in the border?" He starts faltering, then comes out with "You know, the line. Between Canada and the U.S...."

I'm a little disgruntled. So basically he was telling me that I just spent 10 minutes of my time having him totally misrepresent how "I'd only be charged normal minutes" during my trip.... by leaving out the part that it's only AS I'M CROSSING THE FREAKING BORDER. I finally got him to spit out a number and that it's 20 cents per minute extra for when I'm either in the U.S. or Canada, but whatever. That's just ridiculous. What a slime ball, with his tricky prepositions.

more of me telling you what you should read

First, somebody hopes to change your mind with a little online community organizing. Read about it here because this surely isn't "newsworthy" enough to make it into circulation on TV or in the papers. An exellent example of pajama wearing morons stepping up when the mainstream media won't do its job.

Meanwhile, the good folks at newsbusters remind us of another reason that a story can fail to be newsworthy: the sick abusive perverts work in the state school system not the Catholic Church. No, that's not news, "these things happen." I mean, these guys are just teachers and administrators in the schools your children are required by law to attend being paid by your tax dollars, it's not like they're priests.

update: The McCain campaign weighs in on bias and BS news.

Correction

Yeah, I was wrong about the whole Monday thing. Turns out school doesn't start until next Tuesday, the 22nd. Oops.

Cha-ching!!

I finished selling my car to a super cool guy named Egor today!! I'm so freaking happy!

It was kinda ridiculous though... pretty much everything that could have been embarrassing was. I told him coming between 5 and 6 tonight would work out great. Then he showed up, but for some reason our doorbell wasn't working so they were out there forever and finally called the house... while we were in the middle of my mom's birthday dinner that I wasn't told was going to happen until after I committed to a time to him. So right, I go get the door and they come in- and someone moved all my paperwork, the title, the bill of sale, and what not. So RIGHT I go searching all over for it like an idiot while they're standing there uncomfortably.

In the meantime happy family sounds and laughter can be heard intermingled with childish squeals of both delight and dismay from my neice and nephew. And THEN they all start singing happy birthday.. and this guy is SO UNCOMFORTABLE. He and his brother (who drove with them there so he could pick up the car) just looked at each other with this pained awkward look and he started apologizing and saying I should have told him. But the thing is I didn't KNOW we're were doing a birthday thing until he was already on his way! So right... what do I do? I lie, of course! Like a total idiot, I go right ahead without batting an eye and lie in a feeble attempt to make them feel more at ease. And it wasn't even a GOOD lie. I make up a family member who's birthday it is like "my brother in law's brother" trying to make it seem more distant and try to explain that I didn't know about the birthday thing until the last minute myself. So then they're slightly more comfortable... but then in walks my adorable little neice! So they strikes up an amiable conversation with her... and she offers that it's her Grandma's birthday... right after I introduce her as my neice. They know it's my parents house. *slaps forehead* What sort of daughter am I, anyways?? So right, I looked quickly down at my paperwork trying to suppress an embarrassed grin and pretending not to notice. Again... squirmingly awkward.

So right! I ran outside to get the odometer reading for on the title, and guess what. I can't get the door open. The car's been just sitting outside the last couple weeks and in the meantime it snowed a few days ago and then rained on top of it and then turned all that snow slush into a thick 5 inch crust of ice on everything. So I'm trying and trying and trying other doors and trying... no luck. Finally I have to go back inside and red-faced explain this to them. So they come out to help. Still no luck. Then I go inside to see if my dad has a crowbar or something we can use to pry it and they tell me I need to use a hair dryer and an extension cord. So just as I'm shamefacedly trudging back outside, gay-ass hair dryer in hand instead of a manly crowbar, he calls out that he got it open. Huzzah!! Close call. For real. I really didn't want to go out there like a girl with a hair dryer. I mean, I AM a girl. But it's a CAR we're "working on" here! And crowbars are manly; hair dryers are girly gay. Anyways.

They had brought lightbulbs for the headlight that was out, and so when he went to change it... turns out it was just in there loose and all I had to do was twist it more! Eesh. Why didn't I think of that? And then we tried to move the car from the ice-covered drift it was embedded in. The shovel was pretty much ineffective because the ice was harder and thicker. We were pushing and pushing and shoveling and pushing and finally got it loose. It was pretty silly and took a full hour for everything all told. But fun. They were damn good sports and made me laugh.

The only problem was it was my mom's Birthday and apparently the reason they were having the birthday dinner was so I could be there to give mom her Christmas-Birthday Present (Bose ipod dock... sweeeeetness!!), and then I ended up missing it afterall.... there was a wee bit of harumphing and unpleasantry about me. I'm such an uncanny bad guy. It was pretty unfortunate that would should have been a pretty quick exchange- sign the title, do a keys-for-cash handoff, and give a friendly wave buh bye-, ended up being such a fiasco. Why does it seem like every time one thing gets done, another gets messed up! Oh well. Do whatcha gotta do.

I'm just so glad that Egor is as happy about the whole deal as I am...

On Sleeping In

Somehow after years and years of making this same mistake, I still am able to delude myself into thinking that if I let myself sleep in on the weekend I'll get more done later in the day. It is just not true. See, not only have you wasted the high-impact hours of the day where you can get the most done, but you also wake up feeling groggy and blah, so you just aren't very productive. How can I be so fully aware of this after the fact EVERY SINGLE TIME, but still manage to be so utterly convinced as I shut off my alarm that this is 'for my own good.' Seriously. I gotta find a way to stop lying to myself in the mornings on the weekend...

I don't know why this makes me giggle so much... why am I so delighted by coolly deviant children? It's so... evil...

I've been thinking about Breach again...

...Because of KP's latest post on how lame she is. And that list of "5 things about me" got me to thinking about how in the movie "Breach," Robert Hanssen had his assistant list 5 things about himself, 4 true and one a lie on his first day to test his mad lie-detector skillz. I've decided that the next time I meet someone new and I'm just making pleasant small talk, I'm gonna bust that out. So I can practice my lie detector skills.



I'm so excited... I think I'm gonna go for a walk down to the gas station/bus stop and see if I can meet anybody to practice on...

Deceit and Bogus Words

I hate to do this to family, but the truth shall be heard.

When I was reading this post by asiankp, I asked her, "Hey, KP, what's verocious? Don't you mean FERocious?" She made up some definition and threw it nonchalantly across the room at me as though it was obvious. I accepted it.

... for about 10 seconds. Then I looked into it, and "verocious" is not listed in the OED, and if you type in define verocious on a google search you get a load of crap. It's bogus.

So what's up with that, KP? Why are you lying to me and the whole intranet? You could have just told me. I would have forgiven you. You didn't have to lie about it. I mean... at least it gets its meaning across even if it isn't legit...

Betrayal

Dontcha just hate finding things out about people you know and who are close to you, who you already don't like much, that just make you plain want to hate them?

Please, if you have such information, just don't tell me. I'm better off not knowing.

I'm pregnant!

Okay, maybe not really. But today, I actually lied and said I was. I don't know what's wrong with me. But it seemed like the natural thing to do...

So I'm at the store, right? And I wanted to buy cocoa butter because it's really good for your skin, and as far as moisturizers go, I've always done well with it. Well the only cocoa butter I found at Target was this Burt's Bees "Belly Butter" that was cocoa butter and vitamin E complex that looked really good. Only thing is, it says "Mama Bee" on it, because they recommend that pregnant women use it when they're pregnant and their bellies are stretching because cocoa butter is so good for your skin, elasticity, etc. Right, that's cool... it's a good marketing approach. But then when I'm at the checkout buying this, the checkout lady makes some reasonable assumptions and asks, "So are you pregnant or did you just have the baby?" I guess normal women get offended at this. My sisters were mortified that I'd lie about it. But I'm sitting here like, "OOoOoooh. I wish I was pregnant!" So I lie and say I'm pregnant and that it's my first and then all of a sudden there are three checkout ladies congratulating me and giving me pregnant mommy tips and stuff. It was so much fun!! Very wrong. But SO much fun.

Next time I think I'm going to buy boxers and Old Spice deodorant and pretend I'm a man.