My rage problem.

Yeah. Rage. It's seriously been getting a little out of control again lately. The three main things I've noticed that consistently set me off are:

1) Customer service when "customer service" means nothing other than giving the customer whatever the hell they want for free so long as they bitch long enough for it, and then having to act like they deserved it on top of it all when you both know they're full of shit. Seriously, people. Have you consumers no shame?? I especially love it when they say things like "Let's not forget I'm the customer here. And I'm not happy." Oh, and that one by the way? They were getting EXACTLY what they reserved, but they decided they wanted something better for the same price because LAST time some schmuck gave it to them for the same price. Dear Lord. Cry me a river, and get fuck away from my counter.

2) Being woke up. I can't get angry thinking about this one- I know it's totally irrational. But in the moment, I swear... something in me instantaneously combusts and I become this heat-seaking missile headed for whatever the hell it was that disturbed me. I guess I genuinely just prefer to be unconscious than not. Anyways.

3) The last thing is chicks who're going after my brothers who act like they're good friends with me. Like, somehow, if you've got an in with my bro we're automatically best buds? I don't get it. I think respect above and beyond what you'd offer a stranger has to be earned. Maybe that's not fair of me. But that's life, huh?


So, yeah. That's about all I got to say about that.

My new year's changes

So now that a little time has passed and I haven't fallen flat on my face with all the things I've been changing in my lifestyle, I think I'll share them. But first, I want to clarify that I don't really think of them as new years resolutions, so much as things I happened to decide that I was going to do starting new years day. So-called new years resolutions depress me.

First, I have quit smoking. That's right. From two packs a day to absolutely none in the last 18 days. My family keeps saying things along the lines of congratulations, and how pleased they are that I'm not a smoker anymore. But I don't think they realize that two and a half weeks later, I still think about how damn much I want to smoke a cigarette at LEAST 3 times an hour. So while I'm not going to say I've been successful yet, I'm still doing damn good. Tonight I'm going out with people I only kinda-know to a bar. We'll see if I triumph.

Secondly, I've been working out at least 3-4 times a week. But that has changed to cardio workouts daily since last Monday, plus weight training 3-4 days a week now that I have a membership at the Y. I also have a sweet in with one of the trainers (who says flirtation isn't handy?) and he's been giving me some great advice, and pretty much personal training, for free. I give it a week before he asks me out. But seriously, I haven't felt this sore and crappy in ages, and I've NEVER enjoyed feeling so sore and crappy so much before. It's fantastic.

So yeah, basically I'm pretty pleased with myself for now. It's real nice to have the amount of nasty things you say to yourself cut in half.

Phil's gone

Now that Phil is officially on temporary... non-availability... for the next 3 to 4 weeks in Iraqiville, I'm in charge.

I order anyone who reads this to watch Die Hard 2 and laugh hysterically at the insanely cheesy dialogue. It entertained me to no end. It's for your own miserable good.

But back to Phil. Apparently he and his army buddies have run off to socal where, as I understand it, the United States military has created an imitation Iraqi village, fully equipped with Iraqi immigrants speaking arabic and doing Iraqi things as they normally would. Some of them have good secret identities, some of them bad(kinda like role playing), and Phil and his manly friends are going to play an as-close-to-real-life-as-they-can-get-without-hurting-anyone war game with them for the next 3-4 weeks. Pretty crazy, huh?

Awkward

So the four of us are sitting at a table in this little dive bar that says it's Irish. There are only two beers on tap - neither of them Guinness - and the bartender looks vaguely Hispanic. It's a Thursday and the place is pretty empty. The football game is as good as over and a band of some sort is setting up. It doesn't look like anything we want to hang around for but we're about to head over to the pool hall down the street so that's just as well. A woman walks over to our table, "Do you guys like country?" Not so much, we've been paying the jukebox to play Iron Maiden and Black Sabbath. We shake our heads. "Why would they bring a country band in here if nobody likes country?" she says. We don't know. "Maybe they should have a vote or something," I say. She shakes her head and moves on; we shrug and turn back to our conversation and our beers. I feel vaguely sorry for the band. It's bad enough that there are less than twenty people here and we're about to leave, now they have someone actively lobbying against them. or something...
I glance over to where they are setting up. Is that really the same anti-country lady over there checking the microphone? It really is. Apparently not so anti-country after all - she's the singer for the band.

New Years "Romance"

There is very little more difficult than choosing the soul over the body; acting soley according to will, and disregarding passions.

Of the things more difficult, a big one is being rejected, criticized, and made to feel guilty simply because you chose to do the right thing. Even if it was done in a "nice" way. To look a person in the eye and know you "blew it" because you allowed the state of your soul to take precedence over them. It's Harsh, and you certainly don't feel good about it, but at least your conscience is at ease.


Nothing like ringing in the New Year with a heavy dose of Life's Lessons.