Well, in an awesome display of self-restraint, I have refrained from posting any more election related crap. Nothing to do with laziness or lack of inspiration. Seriously.
Now that the day of doom has finally arrived, I can clean up that sidebar and get back to neglecting to post for the usual reasons.

Meanwhile, I give you: miniguns.
That's right, miniguns. From helicopters of course. Have I ever mentioned that miniguns make me go all teary-eyed? If you can watch that clip just once, I think there's something missing from your soul.

Also I've arbitrarily decided that all future posts must have a minimum of three labels, using only those that have already been created. Good thing "mislabeled posts" is one.

Documentation of Phil's last combat patrol in iraq

Eeeeexcellent.

Won't be much longer now.

Sharing some of Phil's pics from this deployment without his permission...

Okay, maybe it's just me... but the level of suggestivity for most militaryesque pics just makes me giggle uncontrollably sometimes. And even more so given that it's my boyfriend depicted. For example.

And then there's always THIS:

Hehehe... WooHoo!!

What the hell has happened to this country?

Patton's speech

"American's play to win all the time... America has never lost and will never lose a war, because the very though of losing is hateful to Americans."

Fight to win, America.
Stop wishing for and easy way out. Pay no heed to the fools and the liars who say that we need to end this war. The only end of war is victory. Anything else is not an end but retreat. Do not give aid and comfort to the enemy by wavering in your resolve. Already, battles are lost in Washington and in the press. Real battles; and with them, real lives. A widespread and resolute determination to win this war can change its course in our favor.

"Pacifism is objectively pro-fascist. This is elementary common sense. If you hamper the war effort of one side, you automatically help out that of the other. Nor is there any real way of remaining outside such a war as the present one. In practice, 'he that is not with me is against me.'" -George Orwell

Attention, passengers

We are now landing at Fort Benning, Georgia. A list of connecting flights follows: flight 310 to Kuwait boarding at gate A in 30 days, flight 311 to Kuwait boarding at gate A the following day, flight 312 to Kuwait...(through flight 315.) We do hope you enjoy your layover and would like to take this opportunity to invite you to spend much of your stay at one of the many drinking establishments in the greater Columbus area. And on behalf of the entire crew, thank you for flying US Army Air.

Seriously though, our pilot got to do something he's probably dreamed of doing since he started flying commercial planes. When he tried to start the engines, the APU failed and the plane lost all power. So after it reset a couple of seconds later he turned on the intercom and said, "Oh my gosh, we're all going to die." Granted we were still on the ground, but still. One of the advantages of flying military charter flights I guess.

Phil's gone

Now that Phil is officially on temporary... non-availability... for the next 3 to 4 weeks in Iraqiville, I'm in charge.

I order anyone who reads this to watch Die Hard 2 and laugh hysterically at the insanely cheesy dialogue. It entertained me to no end. It's for your own miserable good.

But back to Phil. Apparently he and his army buddies have run off to socal where, as I understand it, the United States military has created an imitation Iraqi village, fully equipped with Iraqi immigrants speaking arabic and doing Iraqi things as they normally would. Some of them have good secret identities, some of them bad(kinda like role playing), and Phil and his manly friends are going to play an as-close-to-real-life-as-they-can-get-without-hurting-anyone war game with them for the next 3-4 weeks. Pretty crazy, huh?

Army stuff

I finally shot expert with my rifle (hooray!) after more than two and a half years in the army. If you think that sounds pathetic, well maybe it is but screw you anyway. I actually haven't had that many chances to qualify at ranges that really worked (two or three.)
Also I get to shoot a Mk 19 (full auto 40mm grenade launcher) on Monday.
Guns are cool.

Also...

I've fueled a tank in my underwear. And that's awesome.

One, two, three, and four hey

I'm going, I'm going, I'm going to war hey

Coming soon...

A short story by Phil about the origins of his desire to fight in the Army and shoot guns.

(Was that subtle enough, baby?)

So I quit the army today

No, that doesn't mean I don't work there anymore. It just means that I'm done trying. I had myself removed from the leadership position that I'm not qualified to be in (objectively.) I'm no longer going to the promotion board where I would have to lie to try to get rank that I don't deserve (objectively.) I'm done with caring about this fucked up, stupid army. I'm done working harder, done looking for things to do, done trying to take charge, done volunteering ideas and volunteering for tasks. I'm done.
I'm done with being angry, frustrated, laughed at and disappointed all because of how much I do care and how hard I do try. No more. I'm done trying to be something that isn't wanted. I'm done considering myself a failure when I don't achieve a standard that no one else is trying to meet. I'm done trying to lead people who don't want to be led and done trying to follow people who can't lead.
I'm done ironing my uniform and shining my boots every damn day (yep. gay as it is, I'm switching to the ACU.) I'm done caring if I'm 5 minutes late. I'm done trying to finish first in ruck marches, done with over-packing for ruck marches. I'm done with letting a damn fly crawl all over my motherfucking ear because you aren't supposed to move when at the position of attention. I'm done with putting on my headgear to walk 10 steps out of a building. I'm done running when I could walk and walking when I could just not go.

I'm going to hate it of course. I'm not even going to try to change instantly. I'm not even going to pretend that I really don't give a fuck about anything. I do care. I'll still do the things that matter right. There's not any other way.
But I'm not going to be all that I can be. That day is over. The rest of the army gave up on that years ago. Welcome to the motherfucking army of one less soldier who cares.


NOT FOR THIS ARMY

The new ACU

(Army Combat Uniform)

In case you can't tell, I don't like it. I had to wear it today for the fourth time (for reasons that are slightly complicated and unimportant. For the most part I am sticking to the BDU until they force me to wear that shit.) So here's the weird thing(and the actual point of this post.) Of the four times I have worn it, today was the second that I have put on my underwear and undershirt backwards (and not noticed until later in the day.) To put that in perspective, I cannot think of a single time in my army career that I have put my underwear or t-shirt on backwards when wearing the BDU. I'm not sure what the significance is exactly but it's definitely odd. Perhaps I am subconsciously rebelling against this ass-backwards uniform.

(ok, so that's a pretty weak punchline, but I make up for it with my awesome microsoft paint skillz)

It's official.

I live in a fucking madhouse.

Here are just a few of the events that took place last night:
I - I - had to spend about half an hour stopping a fight from happening. About 10 people all yelling in somebody else's face, some jackass brandishing a beer bottle and saying that he was trained by Chuck Liddell, pulling people away and going back to grab someone else only to find that the guy you just left by the truck back in the middle of things. All because one stupid drunk ass decided to say that a bunch of damn new guys said "fuck tankers." All this at the damn bowling alley on post.
One drunk person threw another drunk person's phone off the balcony. The owner of the phone finally figured out where it was, went down and got it (it landed on the grass and wasn't damaged). He then found out who threw it (maybe), wrestled him to the ground, bounced his head off the concrete floor and choked him until he passed out. Everything is cool between them today - although the accused phone thrower still doesn't really believe that he's guilty; he does admit he can't be sure because he was quite drunk.
Yet another drunk person threw a knife and stuck it about an inch deep in a door at head height as someone was closing this door.

So now it's about 3 in the afternoon. At least two people are just sobering up. The doors to the fire extinguisher cases mounted on the wall in the passageway are shattered. No one really knows why or who did it. Whoever did it probably doesn't even know. And hey, I just remembered that I have 4 beers in someone's fridge over on the other side of the building.


... so. Grill some kielbasa, clean up, recover and get ready for another hooah week. What a fucking life.

Pictures! yay

I feel like I should post something but don't really feel like it so here are some old Iraq picures:

Night Vision

Behind the 240

Appache