Blog... stuff...

Okay, so now that Phil's gone I know nothing.

First, I can't remember how you reference links in the text of your post. Anyone?

And second, how do you post photos?

Cuz that would be helpful. Very helpful indeed.

I'm pregnant!

Okay, maybe not really. But today, I actually lied and said I was. I don't know what's wrong with me. But it seemed like the natural thing to do...

So I'm at the store, right? And I wanted to buy cocoa butter because it's really good for your skin, and as far as moisturizers go, I've always done well with it. Well the only cocoa butter I found at Target was this Burt's Bees "Belly Butter" that was cocoa butter and vitamin E complex that looked really good. Only thing is, it says "Mama Bee" on it, because they recommend that pregnant women use it when they're pregnant and their bellies are stretching because cocoa butter is so good for your skin, elasticity, etc. Right, that's cool... it's a good marketing approach. But then when I'm at the checkout buying this, the checkout lady makes some reasonable assumptions and asks, "So are you pregnant or did you just have the baby?" I guess normal women get offended at this. My sisters were mortified that I'd lie about it. But I'm sitting here like, "OOoOoooh. I wish I was pregnant!" So I lie and say I'm pregnant and that it's my first and then all of a sudden there are three checkout ladies congratulating me and giving me pregnant mommy tips and stuff. It was so much fun!! Very wrong. But SO much fun.

Next time I think I'm going to buy boxers and Old Spice deodorant and pretend I'm a man.

I'm a betting kind of woman.

Never underestimate the motivational incentive of a friendly, high-stakes bet.

Yesterday I bet my brother $600 (that's an entire Wisconsin winter's worth of warmth and energy- we live together and the heat/energy bill came) that I can go longer without smoking than he can. He accepted. Sucker.

(Yes, I quit smoking for a month and a half. Longer, actually. But then these last two weeks got me smoking again. So anyways, now I'm in for the long haul, cuz that's a lot of money.)

High from the thrill of that bet, and still a little cocky, when my older sister started musing about what kind of stakes would motivate her to lose weight, I also impulsively bet my her $150 that I could lose 10% of my body weight before she could lose 10% of hers. She wants to be little before she gets pregnant again so she can be a cute pregnant lady. And if I ever get married, I do NOT want to be fat. That would suck. So anyways, better addressed sooner than later. And how better addressed than by means of some healthy competition?

God may have made me a little lazy of my own accord, but Praise Him for giving me a competitive nature!

mourning

So Phil leaves for Kuwait tonight. And then in a couple weeks my boyfriend will be in Iraq.

Sigh. Life sucks.

Homeless in Wisconsin

So here I am, the day Phil's coming out to visit, realizing I still haven't gotten around to cleaning my room. Right. So I got up this morning and I was cleaning up, trying not to get too distracted, but getting distracted anyways. So I decide to go do some laundry. That's concrete, definite progress having laundry out of the room because the room instantly looks less cluttered, right?

Anyways. So I get my laundry basket and go out into the back hallway to go down the basement to wash my clothes- and the door locks behind me. I'm locked out of my apartment. The landlord and his wife won't be home from work 'till 5ish. Matt won't be home 'till 4ish. It's 11:10am. My cellphone is locked inside. I'm wearing my PJ's. My "not meant for 10 degree weather in a snowstorm PJs." It's winter. Life sucks.

So I go outside to try and go around to the front to try and break in. It's damn cold. It's snowing and windy. I'm painfully obviously locked out of my house and not dressed for the challenge and sleezy people are honking at me and laughing as I fumble around on my porch and try to break in. At first I smile and shrug like "what's a girl to do?" but I quickly deteriorate into tossing them dirty looks and flipping them off. The one window that's storm is loose enough to break in through is locked on the inside. I set about trying to get another storm window open for an unlocked window. It's not happening. I need some sort of tool to pry it with. So right, I fumble around searching for something to use, basically I'm out there in the freezing cold totally exposed for an hour determined to get in- I had way too much stuff to get done to sit around waiting for them to come home for 5 or 6 hours! I did seriously consider making an igloo, though. That would kinda be like saying "Fuck you, apartment. I don't need to live in you." Or a snowman friend to keep me company and comfort me in my sorrow. Or an icicle key.

So anyways, an hour later as I'm finally caving (yes, I'm that stubborn.) and going next door to try and see if the nosy neighbor guy it's taken me so long to get to stop bugging me all the time will help me (*cursing under breath*), guess who's car randomly pulls into MY drive?! Matt's! It was so fortuitous. Apparently the tool he needed for work he had left in the basement! So I come trudging back around the house to his car and tell him my sob story amidst his laughter, and he let me in the house.

So I learned two things today. One, the reason why Milwaukee has so few homeless people is because there's no way you could survive in these conditions long term. And two, we've gotta get a damn spare key.