Homeless in Wisconsin
So here I am, the day Phil's coming out to visit, realizing I still haven't gotten around to cleaning my room. Right. So I got up this morning and I was cleaning up, trying not to get too distracted, but getting distracted anyways. So I decide to go do some laundry. That's concrete, definite progress having laundry out of the room because the room instantly looks less cluttered, right?
Anyways. So I get my laundry basket and go out into the back hallway to go down the basement to wash my clothes- and the door locks behind me. I'm locked out of my apartment. The landlord and his wife won't be home from work 'till 5ish. Matt won't be home 'till 4ish. It's 11:10am. My cellphone is locked inside. I'm wearing my PJ's. My "not meant for 10 degree weather in a snowstorm PJs." It's winter. Life sucks.
So I go outside to try and go around to the front to try and break in. It's damn cold. It's snowing and windy. I'm painfully obviously locked out of my house and not dressed for the challenge and sleezy people are honking at me and laughing as I fumble around on my porch and try to break in. At first I smile and shrug like "what's a girl to do?" but I quickly deteriorate into tossing them dirty looks and flipping them off. The one window that's storm is loose enough to break in through is locked on the inside. I set about trying to get another storm window open for an unlocked window. It's not happening. I need some sort of tool to pry it with. So right, I fumble around searching for something to use, basically I'm out there in the freezing cold totally exposed for an hour determined to get in- I had way too much stuff to get done to sit around waiting for them to come home for 5 or 6 hours! I did seriously consider making an igloo, though. That would kinda be like saying "Fuck you, apartment. I don't need to live in you." Or a snowman friend to keep me company and comfort me in my sorrow. Or an icicle key.
So anyways, an hour later as I'm finally caving (yes, I'm that stubborn.) and going next door to try and see if the nosy neighbor guy it's taken me so long to get to stop bugging me all the time will help me (*cursing under breath*), guess who's car randomly pulls into MY drive?! Matt's! It was so fortuitous. Apparently the tool he needed for work he had left in the basement! So I come trudging back around the house to his car and tell him my sob story amidst his laughter, and he let me in the house.
So I learned two things today. One, the reason why Milwaukee has so few homeless people is because there's no way you could survive in these conditions long term. And two, we've gotta get a damn spare key.
Anyways. So I get my laundry basket and go out into the back hallway to go down the basement to wash my clothes- and the door locks behind me. I'm locked out of my apartment. The landlord and his wife won't be home from work 'till 5ish. Matt won't be home 'till 4ish. It's 11:10am. My cellphone is locked inside. I'm wearing my PJ's. My "not meant for 10 degree weather in a snowstorm PJs." It's winter. Life sucks.
So I go outside to try and go around to the front to try and break in. It's damn cold. It's snowing and windy. I'm painfully obviously locked out of my house and not dressed for the challenge and sleezy people are honking at me and laughing as I fumble around on my porch and try to break in. At first I smile and shrug like "what's a girl to do?" but I quickly deteriorate into tossing them dirty looks and flipping them off. The one window that's storm is loose enough to break in through is locked on the inside. I set about trying to get another storm window open for an unlocked window. It's not happening. I need some sort of tool to pry it with. So right, I fumble around searching for something to use, basically I'm out there in the freezing cold totally exposed for an hour determined to get in- I had way too much stuff to get done to sit around waiting for them to come home for 5 or 6 hours! I did seriously consider making an igloo, though. That would kinda be like saying "Fuck you, apartment. I don't need to live in you." Or a snowman friend to keep me company and comfort me in my sorrow. Or an icicle key.
So anyways, an hour later as I'm finally caving (yes, I'm that stubborn.) and going next door to try and see if the nosy neighbor guy it's taken me so long to get to stop bugging me all the time will help me (*cursing under breath*), guess who's car randomly pulls into MY drive?! Matt's! It was so fortuitous. Apparently the tool he needed for work he had left in the basement! So I come trudging back around the house to his car and tell him my sob story amidst his laughter, and he let me in the house.
So I learned two things today. One, the reason why Milwaukee has so few homeless people is because there's no way you could survive in these conditions long term. And two, we've gotta get a damn spare key.
Labels: awkward, Cold, Funny-Funny, My Dreamboat, rant, this is all wrong, Winter
posted by mags at 12:10 PM
3 Comments:
priceless. absolutely priceless.
we are at the family party RIGHT NOW. you are sitting on the piano bench with PHIL.
awesome. awesome.
also. i've had better conversations about dating relationships...that sucked. i'm just going to shut up about it right now because i've realized that i'm only making the situation worse...so that is that.
And to think... I won't be sitting on a piano bench with Phil again for 12-18 months minimum... :(
Or standing outside with Phil listening to you have conversations about dating relationships.... that sucked... with other people for months.
Or pretty much anything that involves Phil. Other than letter writing. And maybe an occasional phone call. For months. And months.
Sigh.
I think life is laughing at me.
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