Self-Awareness sucks.
I've noticed something really unnerving about myself. The more pure and good and holy I percieve someone to be, the worse I want them to think of me. I'm disagreeable and irrational and disgraceful when I speak to them. *I* don't even like myself around them. But then when I'm with naughtier people, I really want them to like me and try to be pleasant and good? I find that really disturbing. I'm really dissapointed in myself. How the hell do you fix a habit like that? And do other people have this problem?
Labels: aspirations, Bummed, Faith, this is all wrong
posted by mags at 2:44 AM
7 Comments:
Maybe (I say this b/c I do this) if you sense that the holy-holies think they're better than you, you don't want to play into their superiority by trying to convince them that you're a good person. Whereas naughty people are generally less judgmental, so there's nothing to rebel against.
Mags...any big plans for V-day...also i need an update on you know what...
CB- I think you're right. I'm too proud.
KP- I listened to people bitch at me at work.
And as for that other thing, well. It's been put on hold for at least a week or so? Because V-day is pretty damn rotten timing. If it all, actually. There seems to be a lot of wavering an uncertainty. We'll see. I'll let you know if anything happens.
what i figured V-day would seal the deal.
Umm... Well.
There's harsh, and then there's just plain cruel. I think the plan was to stick with harsh.
What...seriously mags...we need to talk AND what ever happened with the other thing we promised not to talk about.
*scratches her head*
What other thing? I have not spoken to ANYONE in the family other than Matt and Liz, and I didn't mention you to either of them other than in passing to say that I had seen you.
I didn't out you, I swear! ;)
Seriously though, call me. Problem solved.
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