How I keep myself entertained at work.

Today at work as an act of rebellion against perverse notions of what good customer service is, and for my own personal enjoyment, I practiced staring people down.

Usually for at LEAST one out of every three contracts I write, there's a personal question like "What's your employer name?" or "May I have an alternate phone number?" that the customer doesn't want to answer, but it's our policy to obtain that information. So usually I give some polite excuse for why we need that information that's never the real one (we don't trust you with our car and need more information in case you steal/damage it) and coax them into telling us what I want to know. It's not a big deal, but they ALWAYS need coaxing and it's tedious and I get bored with it.

So instead I just repeat the question and stare at them with an empty half-smile that says "I don't particularly care about whatever you're bitching about and you're going to do as I say either way because I'm the one who has what YOU want, so oh well! :)" I of course only do this when there aren't any managers around. Also, sometimes if they're being particularly rude and snappy, I'll calmly hand their drivers license and credit card back to them immediately after repeating the question and step back a little. So it looks like I'm silently saying "I'm not going to rent to you unless you do as I say. Oh, and by the way? I'm in control." But in reality? I've really just already finished with their cards and don't need to see them anymore. Hehe. It's actually been really effective. And know what else? Funny thing is it helps with sales! It's like I've established myself as the alpha-dog, so they do what I say.

Don't get me wrong. I don't think this is necessarily good customer service on my part. I only pull this sort of thing on bitchy customers who're taking out their lost luggage and delayed flight anger on me by being difficult. Most of the time they don't really even care, they just want something ANYTHING to gripe about. Once they've established themselves as assholes... I just feel so comfortable having my own fun.


Sometimes I wonder if I live a really sad life. I also think I think too much. Sigh.