Listerine

So yesterday I bought two bottles of Knobb Creek whiskey and one huge bottle of Listerine. I then transferred the Listerine into a huge rubbermaid thingy, and funneled the whiskey into the Listerine bottle, and packaged it up to ship to one of the guys in Phil's platoon named Eric. Apparently it's really dry in the desert, and that's been pretty tough on poor Eric. So, right. What kind of note do you enclose in a package to someone in Iraq with your boyfriend that you've never met while illegally sending him whiskey when he's at war? (They're not allowed to have alcohol over there, in case you didn't pick up on that.) Also, what else do you put in such a package? Just a hugie bottle of "Listerine"? I threw in some chewing gum and a batch of cookies for good measure.

I really didn't know what to write, though, and something in me rebels against sending packages without SOME form of written communication enclosed. So I opted for a super-smooth:

"Dear Eric, My boyfriend mentioned that you really could use some listerine. He said it's really hard to pretend that you're me and not you, especially when you have such poor dental hygiene. I also enclosed some chewing gum for on-the-run freshness....."

*I* thought it was funny, at any rate... dunno if they will.

Right-o. I'm gonna go get me another swill of all that Listerine I've got...